Had a great coffee with the two girls, in Newtown, today. Just across the road from Stacks of Wax. Maxed out on wax after the caffeine. My car is so small that we only just fit three of us, and all the candles, on the way home. Wedding prep list – illumination CHECK.
We’re all at an age that there’s so much joy in time spent together. Smiles and so much laughter today.
First thing was breakfast closer to home. Ice whipped our legs while we queued for a table. Apparently the eggs benedict was ‘best ever’ and worth the wait and the shivering…
Then, the last dress fitting. I don’t know how to describe the love felt in that shop. What a wonderful job that young man has – creating such beautiful taffeta things, making countless women so happy.
We did the tiniest bit more shopping between bridal wear and candles, along with a mad dash through rain and an abundance of giggling.
Tonight, with the heater struggling to take the frost off us, and the cats a pair of curly curls in amongst us…we ate schnitzel and cabbage together, watched the rugby and talked about the holiday to come.
Probably a whole day of ‘best ever’. Saturday.
every day the rolls
peak little one remission
high five the GI
before bed ambos
take the fair ride to the low
mother on the floor
sky trip dilemma
can she last this month of eire
stay heart song or go
hit me with email
dollar bills floating away
didn’t say goodbye
lost in the debris
slug with me those falling bricks
or just join the queue
a flash in madness
nothing stays the same for long
there’s an opening
I’ve spent months panicking, preparing, and desperately doing living while counting down to the big trip.
I almost have work under control. I have no idea if I’m ready but I’ll fly away in ten days.
Early idea of an alone trip, an epiphany here and there perhaps, has morphed into a great family adventure. Adventure is not the right word – it’s a case of going places I’ve long dreamed about, and taking demons and dysfunction along with me. Planes, trains, automobiles and hotel rooms shared. Talk about having baggage!
Can’t even say I’m looking forward to it anymore.
And then it struck me. Life is going to change, drastically, soon. When I come back I will be alone in this huge set of walls. While youngest strikes out on her way back to independence I will also need to learn to be, again. All too easy to sit on the couch and eat after work but where’s the happiness? There’s a whole world out there in my own city, my own state, and I’ll have time to find my parts of it.
Responsibilities not quite done, lessened. Before long though I will be totally alone – aged parent care lingers frailly, and the big kids scour the real estate pages for their own patch.
Elusive ‘me’ time just might be rushing this way! Going to grab it with both hands…
caring for an aged parent
empty nest approaches
bucket list trip of a lifetime
How have you dealt with change?
just a gentle sway
surface sparkles dancing on
finger leaves frame it
Can I bear to put words to screen around this exercise in futility? You tease me with wishes fulfilled. One of my longest held dreams is to have a house of my own, a home in the country…
The relief of being able to renovate with no concern for the cost. Doesn’t mean I’d be thoughtless of course! No stress, no pressure. Repairs done right.
I’d so love to spend some time alone. Find my little patch in the sun, my chair with a view, cup of coffee and a cat.
This dream project would give wings to my circle as well. The creative two could get stuck in – designing, decorating. Give me a garden that feeds us.
And in another area of the farm a self sufficient retreat centre. I could be with people when I want, and then not. Probably no regular sangha but meditation/dharma retreats scheduled when it suits me. Could be open to more than one group. Maybe some writers. Some workshops on garden design…
Maybe there would be a resident monk. In time, depending on my desire for solitude, a small Buddhist hospice even…who knows. Let’s get the house restored first ;-)