It’s Sunday afternoon in Sydney and I’m done. My working week is a mix of working from home and very full on office days. Add to that – care of mother, shared with siblings but in my case it’s live in; and my youngest recently diagnosed with a chronic condition and there’s not much ‘me’ time in life.
Three days in the office at the end of each week leave me spending most Sundays in a heap. I might catch up on a gazillion blogs, and write a few posts myself. Today I’m mixing that up with lying on the couch watching football. Sunday nights the big kids come over for dinner – I’ll be cooking lamb.
WordPress Daily Prompts come in to my inbox and when I read this one a few days ago “You wake up tomorrow morning to find all your plans have been cancelled for the next seven days and $10,000 on your dresser. Tell us about your week” I thought what a joy that would be – to have no responsibilities for a week. My instant response was that I would, possibly quite boringly to most people, put the money straight into my savings account and do absolutely nothing all week. Apart from shopping for some food quickly I’d stay home, see no one, and get lots and lots of sleep.
Wait! If the beach house isn’t rented why don’t I head up there at the speed of light.
$10,000 and my diary cleared for a week. Bliss!
I’m putting that money into my ‘farm’ investment stash, locking the front door and driving north. Once you’re over the bridge you’re on your way to holiday, and half of the one hour drive is a narrow, windy bush road. Reminds me of an old colonial painting and never fails to clear my mind. Turn up Surf Road, follow the bends, see the sea on your right and climb the hill, pass the fancy shmancy restaurant and there’s the house, blue shutters and sunshine. My shoulders drop the minute I open the car door. Breathe it in.
A week of that view, silence, meditating, writing, reading, sleeping.
Slide the glass doors back and the ocean is waiting. All the way to New Zealand. Before long, birds will visit the deck to say hello, you’re back, we’ve missed you. Or new ones – who are you?
Let my body set the clock. Wake, eat, sleep when I want. That’s what I’d do if everything was cancelled this week and no one needed me.
What I WILL do this week though is cook for my adult children, smile and listen to their weeks though I’m shattered. Drive youngest to and from her studies – she’s not strong enough for public transport yet, or to stay a minute longer than necessary so some days I’ll wait in the carpark – read, walk; others I might come home and go back. Thursday I’ll have a day off work and we’ll spend it in the hospital again. Infusion no. 2 for her and still none the wiser if this treatment will save her bowel or not. A colostomy at age almost 22? when only months ago she’d never even heard of ulcerative colitis. My exhaustion is nothing in comparison surely. And then two huge days at work to bring us back to this point again. On each of the seven days various aspects of mothers care not documented here but basically there’s not even a half day of ‘me’ in that week and a few of autopilot.
This is not a rant, this is life. If there was a body part to give daughter I’d do it in a heart beat. This is life but it was nice to escape to the beach house in my head, and maybe in a few months I will have week there. One thing we know for sure is that change is the only permanent 🙂