I’m in a bad mood tonight friends. It’s said that, when you have calm inside, the external doesn’t bother you. It’s all about the inner calm. So, I recognise that I am in an inner bad mood and the external is louder, and more annoying.
The banging of the neighbours doors is really giving me the shits. It’s freezing cold, I can’t get warm. Work was full on, I said some things I shouldn’t have, interviewed some people I can’t choose between and where is the successful candidate going to fit/sit anyway.
I am fat. I am old. I am tired.
I am really hanging out for my holiday, my leave from work. It won’t be long enough though – I already know that.
It’s also said that a writer should ‘show don’t tell’ and yet I tell all. Ah, I am not a writer – in this mood perhaps I should take a break from blogging, a break from myself.
I wonder if, I can have a mini personal retreat at the beach house. Noble silence. Meditation. As long as the reflection leaves me with some positives!
Our office is a beehive, bursting with drones and frenzied activity. How can so much thinking, and doing, produce so little cashflow… I’m tired. Three interviews before lunch and the first keen young man told me I looked tired. Way to start the day me and way to not get the job him 😉
Next week the decision will be mine, and then I’m off to sit by the fire and look at the sea. I will meditate, read Dharma, eat comfort food. I won’t come back any thinner 🙂 but I will breathe more slowly, smile again, choose my words more carefully – or maybe they will just come out more easily.
I might make a schedule so that I don’t waste the precious alone days of nothing…or I might not.