I’ve spent months panicking, preparing, and desperately doing living while counting down to the big trip.
I almost have work under control. I have no idea if I’m ready but I’ll fly away in ten days.
Early idea of an alone trip, an epiphany here and there perhaps, has morphed into a great family adventure. Adventure is not the right word – it’s a case of going places I’ve long dreamed about, and taking demons and dysfunction along with me. Planes, trains, automobiles and hotel rooms shared. Talk about having baggage!
Can’t even say I’m looking forward to it anymore.
And then it struck me. Life is going to change, drastically, soon. When I come back I will be alone in this huge set of walls. While youngest strikes out on her way back to independence I will also need to learn to be, again. All too easy to sit on the couch and eat after work but where’s the happiness? There’s a whole world out there in my own city, my own state, and I’ll have time to find my parts of it.
Responsibilities not quite done, lessened. Before long though I will be totally alone – aged parent care lingers frailly, and the big kids scour the real estate pages for their own patch.
Elusive ‘me’ time just might be rushing this way! Going to grab it with both hands…
How have you dealt with change?