boarding pass

That boy on the couch emailed one day and then ended up all over the second bedroom for a week. Clothes from doorway to balcony. Shoes where he stepped out of them downstairs. Glasses of water in random locations. Front door left wide open not once but twice. Luck kept us safe.

Yesterday he left. And then today he left. It’s a long story but tonight he’s eating nasi goreng and listening to gamelan. I don’t expect him back but never say never right.

I went from mothering to distress. Too many reminders. Similarities. Are many young men like that? Must be. Too too much worry.

And then, one of the nights, I heard my own son’s voice in the street.

Thought bubbles swirl in my head with no escape. Why is it so, and how do I get us back from here to long ago there. The last few days in particular strange.  The pain so sharp.

So, the second bedroom is empty again. Heart not singing and head fogged. I will wake up in the morning and go to work with a different face on. All energies focused.

I’ve got this.

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “boarding pass

  1. You do have this Annie, but those tugs that pull the emotions back and forth cannot be easy to deal with.

  2. Yeah, you got this. You’re the mom. You have to. The boy on the couch posts are very powerful. xo

  3. Little windows of opportunity, slow but steady and yes you do have it. Good luck.

  4. Fake it til you make it… I like that.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s