state of the nest

 

I’m feeling a little lost today friends. It’s been a strange old life.

My eldest has been on maternity leave for ever…and my youngest was between jobs. Today they both left the house all corporate and happy. And I had nothing to do, nowhere to be, no one to talk to. I didn’t know I needed a plan day one.

It was the first day of school after the long summer holiday all over again. Other mothers couldn’t wait for the holidays to end, I wanted them to go on and on. I like my babies close. Is it me who didn’t grow up while they did? The nest will empty and I’ll still be bringing treats home, looking for the 3pm smile and hug.

 

 

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16 thoughts on “state of the nest

  1. I know the feeling Annie, and empathize greatly. With each subsequent child leaving I thought that it might get easier. It didn’t. But it did make me realize just how much time I spent doing for others and in many ways, neglecting myself and losing myself at the same time.

  2. So, Annie, what’s your plan? It’s time to focus on yourself, my dear. You can always change the plan…just make one to start with. 😉 xoxoM

  3. I understand it so well. I’ve just shifted for the very first time in my life to a house on my own. I’ve lived alone before but never shifted into a house that is solely mine.. Feels very weird.. but, it’s our time in life.. You’ll find what is needed to fill the void xxx

    • That’s so exciting Livonne! I’m a little worried about $ right now but I would so love to move, and live in a house of my choosing. I hope it was a positive decision for you – are you still in the same area? xx

  4. I often wonder what I would have been like if I had had children…. Instead I have created a life of meaning and love without them.
    It sounds like this is the perfect time to reach inside yourself for a new sense of purpose and meaning 🙏
    p.s. Don’t just get busy, take time to listen to your inner guide 💛

    • Thanks Val. I’ve been on my own with them for a long time, and also cared for my mother the last ten years of her life (she lived with us, and her death was not toooo long ago) so it’s a brave new world for me – thinking of myself 😉 but I am listening…

  5. My youngest started college this year and I found myself bereft. As my best friend and source of emotional support, it has been hard. I found a supplement to increase the serotonin in my system after the blues took up residence and would not leave. My husband and I have gotten a little closer, and I focus more on myself and my pets. I’d rather be “mama” but now, I’m just “dog mama.” I have projects to do, but I’m too sad to work them. Bouncing back has been slow, but I’m determined not to hold her back. She still needs me too, but has found a network of friends in college – something she was afraid she wouldn’t find. I did a great job parenting her. Now, I need to figure out another way to connect with the world. I didn’t quite expect it to feel this way and I didn’t expect to find it so difficult to find people that I can connect with.

    • I guess I knew I’d feel this way but I didn’t expect it to be so hard, and happen over and over…I haven’t bounced this time yet. Life has changed so much the past few years…and leaving work end of the year didn’t help. I should look for that supplement you mention! I hope you can find some people to connect with soon. I’m going on a family holiday later this month and will work on it all more when I get back. xx

      • The supplement is 5-HTP. No side effects, and it really helped. That and discovering my vitamin D levels were way low, which affects mood quite a bit. I’m coping and am not as sad, but I still feel a bit adrift. I spent the evening meditating yesterday, and the silence brought me a path forward. Not surprisingly, I realized that I had been slowly moving away from meditating every day, and that was making things even worse. My most important relationship is with me and my soul – and I’d been neglecting it. That relationship needs care and feeding, too. I also reached out to my daughter and made a dinner date with her. I suspect college is harder than she admits, for her. The problem is not the homework, but the discordant energies that surround her. She’s quite empathic and is putting her tools to work as well. She never had the patience for meditation store, and now finds it critical. So, we are setting aside our pride and independent spirits to maintain our relationship while somewhat apart. We search for a more adult relationship that is supportive and healthy- lots of freedom from constraints and judgment. I’m afraid that my need to maintain a relationship will hold her back. She’s afraid she can’t make it alone. Maybe none of us can and we aren’t supposed to. Yet we try. Let me know if the supplement helps! No point in trying to find happiness when the body is behind the 8-ball.

        • I’m glad that the meditation is helping too. I’ve been a bit slack in that area and I definitely notice it. When I’m meditating regularly and well everything just works better.

          As for reaching out to your daughter, I think that’s great. Just because you’re both moving into a different stage of life doesn’t mean you can’t maintain a (new) relationship with each other. I say go for regular dinners, or other activities – meet her at a gallery or museum? and you’ll both expand your horizons 🙂

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