the painter

I like the painter. At first I said it was not in a teenage way, I could take it (his presence) or leave it, but I did like him. Then, each day I liked him more so that when it came time for him to leave I wanted him to stay.

There was never an electric spark but we didn’t actually touch. Perhaps, a brush of the hand and… I did grin foolishly, and look away, at his gaze.

I have no idea how old he is. He’s older than me. He’s very tall. And thin.

He’s so calm, slow, deliberate… Peaceful.

When he smiled at me I wasn’t sure if he was laughing at me.

I made a fool of myself over and over and over. I babbled. I was anxious. When the spare room was finished, and he was leaving for the final time, I gave him the thumbs up. I GAVE HIM THE THUMBS UP! Who does that? W.T.F.

One day my sister dropped in and was flirting with him in seconds. They go to the same cafe and recognised each other. She does small talk much more easily than me. And her voice is all cheerful, sing song. Next day he told me he’d already said ‘good morning’ to my sister. They’ll be sitting at the same table by now, caffeinating together.

By next week he’ll be her boyfriend.



e is for exit – #atozchallenge

You could be forgiven for believing the alphabet ends with e my friend. I am exiting this challenge today – still many letters left un-done.

It seemed like it would be fun. Thinking of interesting words to use and expanding on them. I should never have begun!

I am not in the frame of mind to write a daily post and so the challenge has become just that. Writing is to be enjoyed, words don’t need to be forced out of me.

What other words would I have eked out this month? Surprise me and make a post with one…

Forgiveness, Generosity, Homelessness, Ice Cream, Junk food, Kitchen, Love (of course), Mental health, Narcissist, Other side of the road, Pulse, Queer, Roadtrip, Sunset Bar / Turtle Bay, Ulster, Valued, Waikiki, Xylophones, YES, Zuchini and other greens.

(That’s quite a list! Maybe I WILL revisit these words, just not day after day this month)

c is for… – #atozchallenge


c is for

countdown – my sister is having surgery tomorrow (she’ll be thin soon)

childless – granddaughter has moved out (I am deafened by quiet)

cats – I love them (give me more and call me a crazy cat lady, I won’t care)

cold – oh how wonderful is winter (cold nights under the doona watching football on tv)

suddenly all I can think of is food!

coffee, chocolate, caramel, coconut yoghurt, curry…mmm

and dream lifestyles

country – chooks, cattle, crops

coastal – creep up on me horizon (views to New Zealand)

coming down to earth and getting on with it – real life’s like this…

b is for birds – #atozchallenge


The doors are open, and you know there is safety on this deck while I’m here. In bone warming sun I’ll just look out to sea, breathing in your whispers as you all fly by.

Ra says I gift your blue to the ocean…you don’t need it. Splash your orange and red, and soar higher. Light up the sky for me, little rainbow ones.

Cockatoos choose when to share their hidden magic yellow. Take us under your wonderful wings.

Sing the tune the world expects to hear…and then fly this way. I will always keep your secrets (just ask Ra).


a is for adult – #atozchallenge

The family of three moved out yesterday. I’m an adult and I can cope with the spaces where their things were, the spaces where their words were.

I have advanced qualifications in silence – no problem there. It’s funny though, when there is physically nothing there is so much to clean. I have cleaning to do – dusty acres of timber floor, and dusty recesses of my mind. Clean up my act, make a life plan for one. I’m an adult, I already told you that right? So…I can do this. No white noise, let my thoughts assemble in an orderly fashion.

box of chocolates, life




Where’s that box of chocolates when you want it? Life eh…

I’m not even sure what day it is since I’ve taken a few extra days off work – your mind gets out of whack then, doesn’t it. Feels like Tuesday but wait it’s Wednesday.

The little one had her regular drug pumped in Tuesday. It’ll keep her bowel behaving for the next 8 weeks – or that’s the plan. I swear that child is a Bodhisattva. She’s calm, accepting, so generous of spirit, and a patient patient. The two hour turnaround took four hours. Two hours with a cannula in just waiting waiting. She counselled staff, learnt their stories and talked life options until the good stuff was flowing and they left her to soak it in, in peace.

And then, what was it we were going to do in the evening? Oh never mind let’s just turn around and go back to the hospital. Emergency this time. My sibling lost sight briefly. Twenty four hours and counting, she’s still there. Tests I’ve never heard of yet to rule out, or determine. Juggling mini stroke, or polymyalgia?!?

Positives from the last two days? Little one is in remission again YAY that. Sibling looks fine! and is enjoying having meals brought to her, and the enforced rest 😉 And how very blessed are we to live so close to such great care.


ah, november



Every day in November I’m going to do a blog post. Those of you who haven’t seen me around much for a while Surprise! I’ll be here daily!

And you can check out a lot of other wonderful bloggers right here who are doing the same thing…show them some love? #NaBloPoMo #CheerPeppers
It feels like a crazy time for me to be doing this, but when does life ever run smooth…

I’m still at work, still not loving it and just on the countdown to the last walk out the door. Hoping it happens anytime but it should be at our office year end. Cross your fingers for a quicker release and watch this space.

Other news this month is an out of town wedding to attend, roadtrip! I’m going to schedule ahead in case I get too busy, and some of November’s 30 days you might just get a photo from me, or a link to an old post (thanks for those tips Rara xx). There won’t be a theme, a rhyme or reason to my month of posting – I’ll be all over the shop.
read on!